Hi friends. How have you been?

So, I have abstained from writing for sometime now because of its effect on my self esteem. I cannot categorically say if I am good at writing or if my writing skill is similar to my culinary skills.

Note: I am so terrible at cooking that for every time I visit the kitchen a tadpole is unable to grow into a toad. @

I realized that I’m in an abusive relationship with writing. I derive close to no satisfaction from writing. Okay, it is actually twisted. I enjoy writing while I’m at it, but once I’m done I become that kid who regrets masturbating immediately after reaching climax.

Another note: I am this kid.

Due to this I stopped writing. I thought I had been liberated from the suffering, but little did I know. For every time I come upon an article I cannot but put myself in the position of the writer. I skim through the article and I usually only come up with one question:

Why the hell am I not writing?

I have never derived pleasure from any of the things I’ve written. I tell my friends and they tell me it’s the same for every ‘creative’ person. I don’t know if I fit into that category. I mean, the only time I can consider myself creative is when I want to sleep. Or when I’m lazying around.

‘Creativity revolves around elaborate laziness’ — Haywenzo, 2016.

But the solution that I employed has not been working out for me. Staying away from writing even appears to lead to more suffering. I read an article all the darned time and it leaves me bitter and displeased with myself.

I’m tired of asking myself what the hell I’m doing with my life.

Although I know what I’ve been doing with it; wasting it.

So, I have decided to try again. Winners don’t quit, they say. I’ll be resuming writing. I’ll go back to being pathetic because it is said to be a writer’s prevalent nature.

‘To be a writer is to bask in misery’

I have decided to choose a life where satisfaction is to me what Santa is to a kid; a myth.

‘Dissatisfaction is the curse of creativity’

I’ll console myself with the fact that I can sit under the umbrella of the term ‘creative’

You’ll hear from me soon. Sit tight.

untethered. let the wings of freedom take me to an unknown destination faraway from here.

untethered. let the wings of freedom take me to an unknown destination faraway from here.