Happy Independence, Nigeria. How to be Nigerian.

Nigeria celebrates its 57th birthday today. I want to say congratulations to her, but when I think of it there’s nothing to say.

It’s possible that you have been living in Nigeria all your life yet not know how to be Nigerian. It is simply not enough that you were born in Nigeria or that you’ve lived all your life in Nigeria. To be Nigerian is to possess extraordinary qualities that enable you to wake every blessed day without harboring the thoughts of jumping down from a moving bus. Or bike.

Before I proceed to discuss some of these qualities or the know-how I want to make it known that this article isn’t for anyone wearing a combination of white and green today to celebrate Nigeria’s independence. If you are one of those people you’re one of the natural disasters afflicting this ‘about to be great' nation.

So, here it goes.

To be Nigerian you have to be conscious of the fact that you’re not entitled to anything. Not even your life. Definitely not your change when you pay bus fare. If you did not have this mindset before I’ll advise you adopt it.

Another important thing to bear in mind is that the ultimate goal if you’re Nigerian is to support Nigeria from the abroad. Whatever you do ensure to move away before Nigeria kills you. You’ll be surprised by how much Nigerian you can be when you’re in, let’s say, Canada.

Not unplugging your phone when it’s on 100% is one of things that you must do to be Nigerian. It’s a survival instinct. This is because the authorities behind power, popularly known as NEPA are more unpredictable than Nigerian weather. (I don’t think I needed to tell you that).

To be Nigerian is to know that you never use Glo. No matter how desperate you get you should never settle for Glo.

A Nigerian should be fully aware when buying designers. Because that operation carries the risk of you getting an Abibas in place of Adidas. Or a Tommy Ilesanmi. (I cannot yet figure which brand was being copied). As a matter of fact, if you’re not buying directly from the store maybe you shouldn’t buy it at all.

Graduating from the university with a first class isn’t particularly a guarantee to securing a job as a Nigerian. But you know what? Being a Nigerian is to strive to graduate with first class regardless of that.

You should never expect your parents (or an older person) to admit to being wrong or apologize. That’s a requisite to being Nigerian. Being a Nigerian parent ascertains that you’re always entirely right. Even when there’s a great possibility that you’re not. You have to be a Nigerian parent to understand.

You can contribute to this article if you have a mechanism or manual to being Nigerian by dropping a comment. Thank you as you do so. Oh, and please share with your folks.

untethered. let the wings of freedom take me to an unknown destination faraway from here.

untethered. let the wings of freedom take me to an unknown destination faraway from here.