I know what it’s like to be a successful writer. I also know what it’s like to be an unsuccessful writer. A few months ago, I was working in one of the top blogs in Africa. I was highly recognized by artists and music listeners alike. But at some point, I could no longer keep up with the career I had willingly chosen so I began to backtrack. Incessantly, I disturbed my boss that I wanted to quit writing about music. The cross had become too much to bear. He had no choice but to fire me eventually. It was a wise decision.
It wouldn’t be a ludicrous assumption if someone said I was a lazy person. I agree. Although, only to an extent. I know why I do the things I do even though sometimes I’m aware of the gargantuan consequences. I know that my mental health is in shambles and I have to do all I can manage to do in a country that constantly shits on its citizens. I am not blameless. But you see, I have to do what I have to do to survive.
Writing has helped me. Writing has also ruined me. I guess everything must have a balance. I’m not allowed to enjoy the benefits alone; I must also be burned by the incense of the very thing that saves me. It might sound like some premium okoto — maybe it is — but I assure you that there’s some truth to it. Not that it’s so special but I write fast. I can write an article in minutes. I have often said that writing the words isn’t where the problem is, it’s the nitpicking that is inevitable. I have to ensure that whatever I have written is clear enough for the audience.
Writing for a living means that I have to do this often. That’s where the real battle is. My mind is always buzzing with thoughts. And thoughts are distracting. I spend a lot of time trying to avoid the distraction and that’s a distraction too. So, my life is full of distractions. It is impossible to survive as a writer if your life is full of distractions. This is the battle I must fight if I want to enjoy the benefits of writing. I thought I was ready before but I broke down. I broke down badly.
I have found an alternative. This alternative doesn’t appear to be reliable. I want to write without doing a lot of nitpicking. Write down the thoughts as they come. It is achievable but I’m crippled by the fear that my thoughts might not come out (in writing) as coherently as I’d like. I’m going to give it a shot. I have said it several times that I want to write down my thoughts and post them on any of my platforms. So, I guess the time has finally come. Hopefully, they make some sense to the reader.
I have been struggling financially. However, that has only increased my urge to create. I wish I didn’t have to worry about my responsibilities as an adult. Maybe I would post more short stories. I have a dream to do that someday. For now, I’m going to just try to publish more. I’m glad I can share my thoughts with you. The good and the bad. It is all of what makes me who I am. Thank you for the endless support.
I have also decided that I’ll chase my dream of being a music journalist. I’m going to write more about musicians, songwriters, producers, investors, and the power players making impact in the Nigerian music industry. I have decided to use the gift I have been blessed with.
