THIS IS A CONTINUATION OF MY LAST WRITEUP. THE UNIVERSE SAYS I’M ONE OF THE CHOSEN, SO I CAN NO LONGER DENY MY DESTINY.
it was the moment i began to write for money that my hatred for writing developed. i could no longer sit behind my laptop and stare at any blank screen. it was absolute torture. i started coming up with all sorts of excuses so as not to write. what compounded my situation was the fact that i was making a lot of money. or i thought i was. so i kept asking myself why i did not derive any pleasure from writing, even when it was earning me money. it was baffling.
you cannot expect different results if you keep doing the same thing? i fell into that trap. i was writing for money, neglecting my personal projects, directing all my energy only to paid work. writing then stopped being a thing of passion, and was simply a means to make money. this is what happened: i stopped making money and also stopped writing. swimming in circles.
the universe took pity on me and brought me back to my senses. i have realized once again why i chose this part. why i didn’t do things the normal way everyone did them. why i shouldn’t waste my talent on wrong and irrelevant things, denying myself growth and not working on the masterpiece that i hope will change the world. i opened my eyes and clarity fell upon me. i’m a writer who likes to bring ideas to life, whether through fiction or by simply writing down my thoughts or sharing my perspective on things that catch my interest. i should, and must, never stop.
i finally have an answer for mr. andy. i want to write simply because i want to share my gift with the world. it’s a gift that was given to me for free, and not only do i not need to pay anyone to use the gift, people pursue me with money to use it. so, i have decided that as long as using this gift costs me nothing, i’m going to keep using it for the benefit of the world. words are not enough to explain the feeling that comes with using my gift.
once again, i feel like i have a role to play. all my life, i’ve been told to conform. but i was never born to conform. i have some backstory to substantiate this, but that’s for another day. i don’t ever want to stop creating. it’s a way of life. i want to be addicted to it, like a crackhead to crack. freedom. i can taste it. nothing else matters. that’s the closest we’ll get to being god. no offense once again, big guy. you created me in your image, after all.
i’m not exactly a religious or spiritual person, but i believe in the existence of a god. and i dare say he’s extraordinary. all you need to do is look around you. look at nature. look at the sky. look at yourself. you’re imbued with so much power. no big bang could have created all of these. my own way of getting closer to god is to continue creating.
i don’t regret anything that has happened to me. everything that happened did so in order to get me wherever i am. humans like to feel like they’re special. that they’re lucky or unlucky when they find themselves in any situation. what does it mean to be free? it simply means that you wake up everyday and you choose to do whatever brings you joy, as long as you’re not causing anyone pain.
i want you to know that there’s no endgame. the best way to live is to live as if everyday would be your last. because nobody ever knows when they’ll be plucked from earth. why worry about things of vanity? you want to own cars, houses, expensive jewelry, and all the unnecessary things that do not matter in the grand scheme of things. instead of focusing on that thing that you can do so well, that not only makes you feel fulfilled, but also gives people a reason to smile and be happy. don’t keep yourself locked up in a box. you’re much more than that.
freedom. it’s not a foreign concept. humans enslave themselves to worldly things. i wonder how hilarious we’re to god. you were born with everything you need to live. everything is perfect. you don’t know because you’re yet to open your mind. you’re blinded by things that no matter how much you chase them, they don’t belong to you. what a paradox. freedom. it’s in you. it’s around you. you can have it if you want.
what is life if not death persevering? when you die, what will you leave behind? houses or something of value that exists outside the concept of time? break the worldly fetters that have held you back from truly living. freedom.